It’s an intriguing enough thought, what they were talking about in the Trumpeting Moon today. But ultimately I would refuse, I think I would refuse the ability to time travel. I simply don’t think you should mess with the timeline, even if it’s never technically been done before – well, to our knowledge.

The thing that really disturbs me are the people from my neighbourhood writing in, saying things like, “Yeah, I’d totally go back and smack every evil dictator with a baseball bat!” and “Yeah, I’d go tell the dinosaurs to get underground and wait until this whole meteor thing blows over.”

Except what would we then do for fuel, without dinosaur bones? Think about what would become of your favourite place for auto electrical servicing, Bentleigh locals. It could be replaced by a dinosaur feed shop, because there would be domesticated varieties, but the entirety of human civilisation would totally change if we didn’t have cars. Cars just make everything more fun and interesting, in my opinion.

For example, I’d prefer to commute to work in my motor vehicle rather than riding a triceratops. When I take my car in for a service, I ask for just a general checkup and maybe have a look at the crankshaft pulley because it’s been rattling a little bit, and it’s that simple. Whereas riding a triceratops would be fun the first couple of times, and then you realise that you have to feed that thing and that’s way more expensive than using its bones to fill up your car, but you have no knowledge of fuel anyway because it never truly existed, and so you know of no better way. I guess things could run on steam, but that’s not going to look nearly as good as all those steampunk people think.

In short, I like the car servicing near Bentleigh the way it is, along with all the other innovations brought to us by vehicles.

Don’t mess with time, kids. You might end up losing something important. Like cupholders.