I know that we’re a business called Llamas Incorporated, but do we have to include so many of the dang things in our promotional videos? I’ve been editing these clips for hours without end, and I think if I see another llama I’m going to go take up work as a rat-catcher. I don’t know if we even have rat-catchers anymore, but I’d still rather be doing that than editing videos of llamas. I’m going to be having dreams about the goofy creatures. I can’t think of a worse way to spend my nights than dreaming about llamas. If only I could hire a corporate video production team from Melbourne to do this for me. Alas, I have been specifically told that I have to edit these ads on my own. If I get any outside help, I will be fired on the spot. Then again, maybe that would be for the best.

I have never even liked llamas, so I don’t know why I applied for a job as a video editor at Llamas Incorporated. What did I think this job would involve? Maybe I can transfer to the maintenance team instead. Or I could just do such a terrible job at this that they fire me. I’d go get work in post-production services, for businesses that would actually make better use of my talents, at least. “Absolutely no llamas,” it will say on my resume. Most employers won’t have a clue what that means, but eventually, I’ll find a place to work that understands my plight and agrees to keep me away from any llama-based work. 

I can only stare at a creature that isn’t anywhere near as soft and cuddly as it looks for so long. Also, llamas spit at people, which is pretty terrible. I know everyone goes crazy for Tina the llama in that movie, Napoleon Explosion, but I never really saw what the big deal was. No matter what my job situation ends up as, though, the only thing I know for sure is that there will be no more llamas.