My golem business has been going very well lately. I’m surprised that nobody has capitalised on this business idea before, honestly. When I inherited a copy of the Book of All Golems that wouldn’t be destroyed by eldritch flames after being used, from my grandfather, my first thought was to use my wizard powers to make an army of golems and take over the world. That would have been a lot of work, though, so I decided instead to hire a hundred wizards, pay them minimum wage and put them to work. A golem can take anywhere from 30–120 days to make, depending on the type (clay, candy, iron or stone), but that is with a single wizard working on it. I figured that with one hundred wizards, we could build at least one golem a day. We can then sell them from anywhere between 200,000 to 500,000 gold pieces. Sounds like an effective business to me! 

Anyway, tax time is coming around and I really need to sort out my payroll service. I’ve been telling the wizards that their pay will be coming soon for months now. Of course, most of them have clerical friends who can just create food and water with their spells, so it’s not like these guys are starving. As a bonus for joining my business, I added the Small Hut spell to their spellbooks anyway, so they tend to just cast that in the warehouse and sleep here. It’s not like they have families to get back to. Most of them had their families perish from tragic adventuring backstories. How sad.

Back when we were only producing clay golems, I could get a small business tax accountant in the Melbourne area to help out with taxes and payroll, and all that other nonsense. Originally, I was going to avoid paying those pesky fees altogether, but the Australian Taxation Enforcement Bureau found out and showed that they are very good at waterboarding. So, yeah, I’ll just pay my taxes. But now we’re legally considered a big business, with over 100 employees, so this time of year really sucks for me. Hopefully, I can find some sort of way through this.

– Boss Wizard