Ugh…Casey. Casey, Casey, Casey. I never want to hear or type Casey’s name again, because Casey is a silly name, and typing it makes your fingers go all weird. First you’re on the C, but they you have to do a weird little back and forth dance to get to the A, and..okay, actually, it’s not that bad. Congrats, Casey, you’re good at something.

Unlike being a mechanic, which you are NOT good at, Casey! I have it on good authority that all her ‘connections’ with the auto electrical services in Bentleigh are actually fake, and she actually doesn’t know the best place for auto electrical, so she should NOT be as popular as she is. Everyone is getting a car right now, and Casey has jumped on the trend like the opportunist she truly is behind the guise of being all lovely and nice and helpful. You know – “Oh, my dearest teacher, I noticed that you’re holding too many books, let me carry your apple that I gave you because I’m PERFECT.”

Yeah, so anyway, now that anyone has any issues with their car, they go to Casey because she’s the big expert. I bet she just goes on her phone and looks up the best mechanics in Bentleigh and Moorabbin and they just fall for it, but she’s managed to establish herself as a total genius after that one incident with Michael. His car had conked out right in front of the bus ring, and EVERYONE was annoyed because he was blocking the road, and Casey went to kick one of the tyres. Of course, the car just started as she kicked it, in full view of everyone, like her shoes are magical and they give automotive life. And Casey totally basked in her weird little victory, saying that she’s basically a car expert.

Just wait until she screws up and recommends the wrong place, so someone wants a car air conditioning service near Moorabbin, and Casey sends them to somewhere that only does brake repair, and she’s totally shamed. It will be shameful. And I will bask in the shame, because you, Casey, brought this upon yourself.

-Lula