Alexa is SO full of it, like, you don’t even know. We have biology together and I try to sit on the opposite side of the class to her and even there I have to hear her kazoo voice going on about how her Mum and Dad bought her a car and she gets all her own car servicing done. Like, no one even cares Alexa…and no one believes you. Bet if you went round to an car repairs garage in Glen Iris and showed them Alexa’s picture they’d be all like “Nah, haven’t seen her,” because Alexa is such a liar. There was that one time when she said that she was flying on a private jet to Malta for her cousin’s wedding and then on Visage-Tome she actually uploaded a picture of her in-flight meal with the airline’s logo and everything. Nice try, Alexa. “Can’t stomach this stuff!”, yeah, like we can’t stomach your lies.

She’s not as bad as Kayla though, who is totally faking that accent she got from going to ‘Paris’. You don’t go to France for two weeks and just suddenly pick up dozens of French words that just randomly show up while you talk, Kayla. Anyway, she says her dad owns all the auto repair places for a hundred miles, so I bet her and Alexa are putting their heads together and figuring out how they can fabricate some story about them both having super cool cars but us never seeing them as school, magically. Like, yeah, sure, because Kayla already put up those Instant-Gram pictures of her and her weird-looking boyfriend getting drive-through ice-cream and that car interior looks about thirty years old, so…yeah. Not buying it.

Ugh, I hate them so much. Like, I get it, you have nothing going for you so you have to make up stories about owning a car repair empire so you can lie about having cool cars and uncles that give you free tickets to concerts because they’re like super tight with famous pop stars. Pretty sure Alexa doesn’t even know what goes on during auto repairs. Honestly she’s so dumb. Probably thinks the car gets repainted or something.